All Alone....

I hope you know ,
I hope you know,
This has nothing to do with you
Me myself and i need some straightening out to do....

Fergie croons over my trusty radio.

I used to fear being alone. Not lonely—because there were always people around—but I knew that my soul's survival depended on me.I now think that the sense of being apart from others is what led me to trust so firmly in something bigger than I could articulate, and feel a connection to God.As a girl, I used to love company, i still do.I remember i always hated being alone while my mother tended her chores.

These days I'm often surrounded by other people. I have to interact constantly, so when I get to spend time with just me, I delight in every moment. Alone time is when I recharge and go back to my center, distancing myself from the voices of the world so I can hear my own with clarity. It's when I consciously count my blessings, take a deep breath, and try to absorb the wonder and glory of all my experiences.

I'll admit that my teenage years were a blur. I scrambled through secondary school trying miserably to be the popular one. I would do agree to everything and anything just to fit in the elites of the social world and hadn't yet learned the art of being humane. That was the unhealthiest period of my life. I was so out of balance.Disconnected.Ruthless.Bitter.

I thought that if I stopped, I would surely wither away. Now I know for sure that if you don't replenish your well, it runs dry. And things around you falter. So on any given 30 minute train ride to work, you will find me alone. Filling myself up. Cherishing life and loving every solitary moment.